We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
