question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All the doctor said was why
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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