The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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