my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
