ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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