I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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