I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
