i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
