Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
