I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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