Non-Jews are for practice
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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