turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
