a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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