So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
