If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
