If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't think brook has ever known best
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
