does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
