I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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