is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
