after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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