I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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