When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
