I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
