Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
