I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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