well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
