oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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