how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
