oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
