loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
