Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
