If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is the prime rib incident all over again
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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