Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
