yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
