actually, I'm a sock model
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
