oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
