I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
