Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
