youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
