so explain again why im purple
no
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
