dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You need Xanax blowdarts
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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