Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
