I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
