I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
this hospital has no fireball
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
