look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
