How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
