If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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