I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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