Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
