dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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