Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
