Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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