She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I pour the whiskey from now on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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