farters have to be the big spoon...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
