Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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