Kiss
Puke
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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